Adrian Cafuentes is a thriving real estate agent who found himself in a very difficult situation: Put all of his energy into his business at the expense of losing spending time with his family, or spend more time with his family and miss out on valuable money-making opportunities it seemed that neither was actually fulfilling to him. In this exciting case study, you’ll see how the mastermind helped him break free of his “black-and-white” thinking while leading a thriving business and spending even more time with his family – completely guilt-free! And now in a place where he now has a the power of choosing what reality he wants to experience.
Meet Ignite Mastermind Member Adrian Cafuentes:
- Born in Long Beach, CA, he spent his childhood in Zacatecas, Mexico to come back to California pursuing the American dream;
- Well-accomplished Real Estate Professional;
- Passions: Spending time with the family, traveling and exploring different cultures;
Q: Adrian, I know you’ve always invested a significant amount of time and money into personal development. Tell us a bit about how you got started!
A: Well, I’m 38 years old and I started getting into personal development when I was 25. I was always curious about life and wondered when I was finally going to experience being “fixed”.
I was really into the “motivation” stuff, studying from greats like Tony Robbins and many of the other big names in the personal development industry. I felt like man I really need to be connected to this information so I don’t fall from grace. It’s like sales motivator Zig Ziglar once said, “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing, that’s why we need it daily.”
I did the fire walk and all of the crazy things you do at those live events. I would feel empowered for about a week or so before realizing the spark had completely faded away and back to my craving of motivation and wanting to fix myself. Deep down, there was a void inside of me that personal development just wasn’t filling so it kept me coming back for more and more. Almost felt like an addiction.
Q: And this eventually led to you discovering Matthew Ferry and his work?
A: I was actually 3-4 years into personal development when I first came across Matthew Ferry. At the time, Matthew was still heavily working with his father Mike in the real estate industry.
His message was focused around real estate, but something about what he said truly resonated with me. I loved his recontextualization in which he focused on a state of BEING, rather than the usual “What do I have to do to succeed in business and in life?”
Q: I know it was quite a while before you eventually joined the mastermind. What was your life like in real estate sales prior to signing up?
A: Yeah, I had lost track of Matthew after he transitioned away from Mike Ferry’s company to do his own thing. As a Realtor, heavily involved in real estate sales, I was easily working an 80-hour workweek. 10-12 hours a day, 6 days a week. It was nonstop grinding and hustling.
From a business standpoint I was doing fairly well, and one year I was able to clear over $500,000 in commission volume. But despite my financial success I felt like things weren’t “clicking”. There was an unfulfilled void I knew had to be filled, and that I knew I had to address, but I couldn’t exactly discover what it was or how to fill it.
Q: It’s never easy working so many hours for so many years. Did this have a strain on your relationship with your family?
A: Without question. Five years ago, my wife and I gave birth to our first child, a beautiful boy (now I have 2 children). And my approach towards business left me at a crossroads. I wanted to continue and provide for my family, but I also wanted to spend more quality time with my wife and children.
My approach towards business was so unbalanced and unsustainable that I felt like I was forced to make a very hard decision: Do I thrive in business and succeed at accomplishing my financial goals but potentially jeopardize my family’s well-being, or do I take my foot off the gas pedal (thereby losing money) and create memories with my family? I honestly felt like I didn’t have a choice. I fell into the common trap of thinking you could either have your business or your family, but not both.
As you can imagine my wife wasn’t really a fan of the “all-in” approach I was taking with my business. It felt as if we were both going in completely separate directions. If I kept doing what I was doing, I would have likely found a good reason to separate from my wife so I could direct more energy towards being successful in real estate.
Q: Let’s talk about how you eventually heard of the mastermind and signed up. What was the mental journey like for you?
A: 3 years ago I signed up for a seminar Matthew Ferry was hosting, and at the very end he had offered attendees an opportunity to join his mastermind. I have to be honest and say there was zero hesitation in joining. I desperately needed a fix in my life at the time, and I loved seeing the work he was doing with muscle testing. The way he used it for holding on to empowering contexts and letting go of destructive thought patterns was very liberating.
For the first time in my life, I felt as if I could have a CHOICE in what I can alleviate and what I can hold on to. I can CHOOSE what I get to experience in this life. But what truly helped me make the jump was the offer he made: “I guarantee you that this mastermind will revolutionize your life. So much so that I am willing to give you double your money back. If I don’t keep my promise and you don’t experience profound changes occuring in your life, you get your money back times two”.
It was an absolute no-brainer for me. It was the first time I had ever heard any trainer make this kind of an offer and stand by it. I joined without experiencing the slightest bit of fear.
Q: It took you quite a while before you felt fully connected with the other mastermind members. Walk us through how you finally came to the point where you were able to feel completely comfortable.
A: In my first year of the Ignite Mastermind, I didn’t really network with the other members as much as I should have. To be honest, I was still deep into my own mind and a part of me felt I wasn’t worthy of being in the group.
All of that changed when I renewed my membership for a second year. I started connecting with people more, and I felt as if Matthew had created a legitimate judgment-free zone.
When you are with other people and you feel as if you can completely be yourself, unattached to your own mind chatter and the fear of being judged, you can really make strong and long-lasting connections with those people.
I was able to experience the other members totally and really feel what they were going through. I felt as if it was OK for me to share my own personal struggles, and together we were able to make adjustments in life. It’s like the Bible says in Proverbs 27:17, “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens the face of his neighbor”. In Matthew’s mastermind, everyone succeeds together!
I feel like the mastermind members are family. I know I will never be judged or made to feel ashamed when I’m around them, and it’s as if I have a second family in addition to what I have with my wife and children.
Let me put it this way: You know how in Christianity when God says he loves you unconditionally, no matter what you’ve done or experienced in your life? I feel that same kind of love from the group.
Q: What was your experience like in connecting with Matthew and Kristen? Did you feel as close to them as you did the other members?
A: I actually leaned far more on Kristen throughout the mastermind. I didn’t know her prior to the mastermind, but I can say she’s been a big blessing to my life. Anytime I needed adjustment or coaching, I could directly call Kristen and she was always available to help me.
I will say this about Matthew and Kristen: The completeness they have with each other is amazing! In fact, the way they relate to each other is something I’m beginning to mimic with my wife at home. The combination of the two is explosive and they are completely in integrity, both with each other and with the mastermind members. Anything they teach, they have lived out themselves.
As we go through the process of enlightenment, they fully participate and do the same. They admit their own struggles and goals with us in full transparency. I loved their emphasis on how everyone in the group is striving together. Even though they were the group leaders, I NEVER felt as if they were “better” than us or more advanced than other people.
Q: With other seminars you went to in the past, they never truly delivered in creating long-lasting change. What do you think was different about the Ignite Mastermind?
A: The biggest difference is the feeling you have when you leave the in-person meetings. With other seminars, they were entirely based on motivation. Which as you and I both know, is very fickle and never lasts. In The Ignite Mastermind, you really experience being empowered and inspired. The mastermind gave me the ability to say “I am whole and complete as I am, there is nothing to fix within me” and truly mean it. I can feel it as I say the words. It took me many years before I was able to say that to anybody with a straight face, but now I can do it.
There were times when I would miss the Wednesday coaching calls due to appointments, and I would catch up with the recordings the next day. There were 10-second passages in some of the calls that have revolutionized my life. I’ll even go as far as to say that those 10 seconds alone are worth the monthly fee I pay to be in the mastermind.
Q: As a practicing Christian, how did the material fit with your religious beliefs? Has anything changed about you and your relationship with God?
A: I’ve always had a sense of connectedness to God, but from a place of being “less than”. I could never feel as if I was accepted by God and I felt like I was always being judged in a negative light. Such are the emotions religion can bring upon you.
I still practice Christianity and attend Sunday church, but how I relate to it all is completely different. Rather than relate to it from a purely religious standpoint were “I’m right and everybody else is wrong”, I’ve recontextualized it as a loving relationship with God.
I’ve released a lot of judgment on how I believe life should be lived and how I see other people. Rather than make other people wrong for not being Christian, I can see everyone as being the exact same thing as me but expressed in a different form.
“Enlightenment is the recognition that the source of life within you is the source of life for everyone and everything else. We are all one thing expressing itself with infinite variety.”
For example, I used to have serious problems when I had conversations with people from different religious sects – Atheists, Buddhists, Jehovah’s Witnesses, and the list goes on. Rather than judge them, I can now relate to them better and this allows me to achieve a higher level of consciousness. And even though a residue of judgment still exists, I can better sense it in my body and mind and put a stop to it so I don’t have to indulge in it anymore.
Q: Fascinating! Did you experience a similar kind of shift with your business and your finances?
A: Did I ever! I no longer hold on to the degrading belief that I need to work a certain amount of hours in the day or take on a certain number of deals in order to feel fulfilled. In fact, I’ve dropped my working hours by about 80%! All of last year, I was mostly working Monday to Wednesday at 2-3 hours per day. Even though I took a slight hit in my income, I have zero attachment to the numbers in my bank account. And it’s not because I worked fewer hours, but rather I detached from the idea of putting in more time to make more money.
I fully let go of this idea in early November of last year, and now my schedule has completely changed. All I had to do is change the context in which I view my business, and what I’m choosing to believe about it. I recently got a pass to Disneyland for my family, and they asked me on a Tuesday morning if I wanted to go. I was able to enthusiastically agree to go, take the afternoon off and spend the day with my family. There is not a shred of guilt in my body when I’m able to allocate more time with the people I truly love and care about. And the best part? With my new schedule, I’m going to hit over $500,000 in real estate commissions this year without working nonstop or affecting my relationships.
Q: And with that massive transformation in your business comes a completely new perspective on money, I’m assuming?
A: I now see money as a mere tool, nothing more than numbers on a piece of paper. Having more money or less money doesn’t change how I see my life. Who I am as a person, and the value I have as a person who is whole and complete, has absolutely nothing to do with money. Whether I have $10,000,000 or just $1, I’m just as happy either way.
And funny enough, because I’ve changed how I show up and participate in life, I’m effortlessly attracting the right people into my life. I’ve been floored in the past year with partners who want to invest in my business and be a big part of what I’m doing.
All I’ve changed is the way I relate to things, and yet people want to be a part of that. Some people have even expressed great interest in joining Matthew’s mastermind because of the changes I’ve made.
One thing new members will learn very quickly is that the mastermind is NOT about being a multimillionaire. Rather, it’s about “Why don’t I feel content with my life if I have millions”. We chase money because we’re looking for that inner feeling of satisfaction. Fortunately, the mastermind delivers 10x on helping you achieve that inner feeling.
Q: How does your family feel about all of these profound changes you’ve made?
A: I’m spending a lot more time with my family, and I’m only starting to experience the best moments of my life with my wife and 2 children. One of the biggest “ah-ha” moments I had in the mastermind was that there was nothing to fix. I was chasing material-based goals for all of the wrong reasons, trying to fill a never-ending void inside of me. I wanted to prove to everyone that I was worthy and deserving of the goals I wanted to accomplish.
Everything that has ever happened to me was based on choice: What I was choosing and why I was choosing it. Once I saw this, I stepped back and started making different choices. I can now see hard work as inspiring, rather than taking an extreme approach and labeling all hard work as “wrong”.
Q: Let’s focus on the never-ending pursuit when it comes to chasing goals. Are you now approaching goal-setting in a different way?
A: Prior to the mastermind, I was setting survival-based goals to acquire material things. Again, this was all done to fill a void inside of me. Now that I’m in the mastermind, I’ve completely changed how I set goals and now I focus on achieving goals of enlightenment. I still have the inner drive to accomplish things and acquire materials goods for my family to enjoy, but there’s no longer a burning desire to do so. The goals I set are ones where if they get accomplished, I’m excited. But if they don’t, I’m ecstatic either way. Setting goals isn’t about following some proven 7-step process – it’s a mindset, a state of being where you feel inspired and overjoyed to create.
Q: Very interesting…I think a lot of people have this impression that unless you’re super-serious, you can’t achieve anything of significance. How did you resolve this paradox using what you learned in the mastermind?
A: Honestly, I’ve learned to appreciate that life is just not that serious. When I attended the in-person meeting for the first time, I experienced this dream-like state of nothingness. I didn’t feel the usual spectrum of human emotions – love, anger, peace, sadness, and so on. And while most people think this would turn you into a stone-cold robot, it did the exact opposite for me.
Whenever I experience this state of nothingness, I can effortlessly allow intuition to flow within my body and my mind. New ideas are generated, and potential opportunities are so much easier to spot.
“The more you accept, the less you resist. The less you resist, the happier you are. The happier you are, the easier it is to think, express and create the life you want.” – Matthew Ferry
This is a far cry when you consider how The Drunk Monkey dominates our lives with negative chatter like “You’re not enough, you’re too ugly, you’ll never accomplish anything, you can never be happy because you don’t have the money/car/house yet”. I still experience the chatter on occasion, but it’s so minimal that it doesn’t even affect me anymore.
It’s this transformational shift that has allowed me to achieve true mental freedom and peace of mind. I can be a high-performance Realtor, and also express true appreciation when I go outside and stare at the beautiful blue sky.
I can express gratitude and appreciation for the beauty of nature, rather than think “Blue sky?! What the hell are you thinking about? Get your ass back in the office because there are hundreds of calls to be made!”
Here’s another concrete example of how I’ve applied this shift: I no longer experience conflict in my life. Thanks to the recontextualizations I did in the mastermind, conflict is virtually non-existent for me. An outsider might see what I’m going through and perceive it as conflict, but because of how much my perspective has shifted, I just don’t see what I’m experiencing as conflict anymore.
Q: If you were to give some helpful advice to people who are new to the mastermind or thinking of joining, what would it be?
A: Anyone who wants to have a deeper connection with their intuition, experience the “Quiet Mind Epic Life” Matthew promises, feel that “all is well” and experience themselves as “whole and complete” should definitely join. No questions asked. I do have some suggestions which I believe will make anyone’s mastermind experience much more fruitful. By far, the most important piece of advice I can give is to really be open-minded. Drop your guard and be prepared to rethink what life “should” look like. Be open to considering new information, because what Matthew shares will totally blow your mind.
But be warned, you will shut it all out if you aren’t open-minded in the first place. I know for myself, I definitely had to make a conscious effort to be more open-minded when I first joined. Another tip I have for accelerating your process is to suspend your mind’s judgments. Rather than judge the information you’re given, investigate it with a curious mind. Ask yourself “Do I want to take this information in my life and feel empowered, or do I want to continue to degrade myself further with thought patterns of the past?”
When I was about to join the mastermind, my biggest fear was that the information would NOT be true for me. That it would work for everyone else except for me. This is The Drunk Monkey trying to convince you that this is another coaching gimmick, but I can give a 100% guarantee that what Matthew teaches you will truly revolutionize your life.
Oh, and one last thing to be ready for… You WILL see more when you join the mastermind. Things that were invisible to you will become clear as day. You will have a “bird’s eye” view on life you previously thought was unattainable.
But when you see more, you have no choice but to accept more. This is the mental dance you will have to deal with. But through the mastermind, you will be able to accept more and come to the point where you can accept yourself exactly as you are right now without hesitation.